i'm okay i promise

I have been a tad bit busy these last couple of weeks for a whole host of reasons. Starting with I sort of impulsively decided to go to Dragon Con in Atlanta. And by impulsively I mean I called my cousin and was like hey can I come stay with you for a week? And thankfully she was like sure! With my stay sorted out all that was left was the con tickets (which for a 5ish long convention is shockingly cheap!) and airfare (which always makes me weep). I will be making a longer different post about DragonCon once the sirens call of the void is lesser. But the long story short is I miss going to DragonCon every year and I will be trying my darnest to go back in 2027. Not only do I love the convention itself I also really love seeing my cousins down in Atlanta.

However that only covers the beginning of September and we're damn near at the end of September so where else have I been? Well right after I got back from Atlanta, not even a full 48 hours of being home I turned around and flew out to Colorado for a work related trip that was another 8 days from home. It was exhausting and another reminder of how much I hate being "on set". It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but it was also not a great time for me personally. I basically saw the Denver airport and the hotel/convention center we were working in. It was a lot of people (after having just done so much people'ing in Atlanta), a lot of running around (I walked so many steps I don't even want to know how many), and I lot of trying to keep other people on track (which I don't mind doing actually when they fucking listen to me). And then because it was a work trip and we flew back Saturday night I basically got Sunday "off" from work before turning around and going back to work on Monday and honestly I don't love my current job enough to deal with it but I need the job because MONEY.

Which is to say this month started off good (going back to Atlanta), got great (had a blast at DragonCon), and then quickly speedrun being terrible (fucking dayjob man). Coupled with having to skip therapy all month (because my therapist isn't licensed in other states) and running out of my meds on Saturday but thinking I had some at home because I knew I ordered more during the 48 hours I was back home. Well turns out I order 2 of my 3 meds, and the missing med was the one I was out of. So what was an annoying situation in a surprising amount of speed became a messy one because I couldn't just re-compress and recompose myself post Colorado trip because my bosses have stupid and unrealistic expectations for things AND my body decided to congratulate me on not being with child at the same time, instead while stress and now unmediated & hormonally (WHY IS SPELL CHECK SAYING THATS NOT A WORD?!?!) unbalanced I had to deal with dayjob bullshit. And I really really don't want to. Thankfully two of my coworkers are lovely and we're all in this together. For now...till I find a new job somewhere else on literally any project that isn't this project.

Anyway all this to say, I am not okay but I will be okay it was just a lot in what felt like a very short period of time. My plan post Colorado was always to find a new job so that hasn't actually changed any. Really the only thing this emotional roller coaster of a week (it hasn't even been a whole week actually) has done is slightly delay my plans for finding a new job.